After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
