His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
