How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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