the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
