um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
