I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
