I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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