The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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