So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
