last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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