I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
