Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
