guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
