drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
