Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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