Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
