Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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