Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
