Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
