Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
