I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
