its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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