these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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