i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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