Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
