He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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