did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
being pregnant is like rehab
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
