Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
