A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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