i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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