WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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