She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
