just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
