Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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