Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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