just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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