I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
