I'm so fucking centered right now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
