Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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