8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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