Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
