community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
