I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
