my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
