Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
