You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
this is an emotional support booty call
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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