So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
