No, drunk sperm still make babies.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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