I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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