Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
