Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
