dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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