OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
