I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you never un-have a 4some
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
