so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize