I skipped work to stalk him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
